But the most significant observance during Christmas was allowing slaves to receive passes to visit their friends and family – husbands, wives, and children – that resided on other plantations.

But the most significant observance during Christmas was allowing slaves to receive passes to visit their friends and family – husbands, wives, and children – that resided on other plantations. This sort of prolonged interaction, though infrequent, led to an integrated black community that extended far beyond individual plantations. This familial and social contact proved to be an important aspect of the sustenance that allowed blacks to survive slavery.

Christmastime was one of the few periods when “marriages” were possible and allowed (although not legally binding). As such, it became a celebration of more than just gifts and food, but a sort of renewal of the human bonds of unity that slavery attempted to strip from blacks. Many whites attended their slaves’ marriages, but some couldn’t stand the sight of people they owned under law pretending to be civilized.

Slaves often married without the benefit of clergy, and as historian John Blassingame states, "the marriage ceremony in most cases consisted of the slaves simply getting the master's permission and moving into a cabin together." 

If they shared vows, the wording had to be modified. The vow, "To have and to hold, in sickness and in health… til death do you part" was revised to allow for them being separated. For instance, "til death do us part" was revised to "til death or buckra part you", the term “buckra” meaning “the white man”, or "til death or distance do you part".