1. Girls handbags carry everything necessary for sleepover except their fare back home
2. When you are served little chips in a restaurant, you drink their Tomato Sauce like Pepsi
3. Youths don't pray before eating but take pictures of the meal first then post it on Facebook before eating
4. Men phones are like onions. If their wives touch and look they shed tears
5. Dark skin ladies wear black crop_tops and red tights only to look like pliers
6. When asked by someone to pass the salt, put it in your food first
7. People think of sex when it rains instead of farming
8. Everything is politicized, including food in the kitchen. "Hiyo Orange ni ya Orange! (Orange Party)"
9. Every man approaching a lady claims not to be a fisi
10. Ladies bleach and forget the joints, they end up looking like sugarcane
11. You are forced to type 'Amen' on Facebook else undisclosed calamity befalls you
12. You buy your chick panties your neighbor removes it
13. A Kenyan girl will still ask you, "umeniletea nini" hata kama umetoka kwa jela
14. Once you tell a lady that you love her you already owe her some money
15. Someone lies to over 40 million Kenyans eti Eeh Mungu Nguvu Yetu means Ooh God of all creation...
16. Yesu Nipe Nyonyo and Tiga Wana are gospel hit songs while Mungu Pekee is considered a secular song
17. When you meet a lady who does not ask for your money you think it is a set up
18. You have unprotected sex then get into the car and wear safety belt like you didn't try to kill yourself a moment ago
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