Maintenance sex may not sound like the most titillating thing in the world, but it is crucial to the health of your marriage. When we say maintenance sex, we mean having sex just to have it, even if you don’t feel like doing it. It means keeping the sex up to ensure both people in the marriage are sexually satisfied.
There will inevitably be times in a marriage when one partner wants to have sex and the other doesn’t. It’s rare for two people to have matching sex drives. It happens occasionally, but to expect that your partner will always want the exact amount of sex as you do is not particularly practical.
In order to make up for the difference, compromises need to be made. The partner with the higher libido must have realistic expectations, while the partner with the lower libido needs to do the same. This is where maintenance sex comes into play.
In marriages, you need to show up for your partner. This goes back to that “shame” thing; we think if one person doesn’t want to have sex, we shouldn’t have sex. Sometimes you need to show up for your partner and be engaged. If you need your partner to make you feel desired, he or she should be willing to do that for you. Sex is a principal part of happy relationships.
Sex breeds INTIMACY. Orgasms release oxytocin, the feel-good bonding hormone in your body. Sex helps you feel closer to your partner. It is the most intimate physical act you and your partner can experience. Without it, it’s easy to lose sight of your connection. Relationships and a healthy sex life take constant work. You have to check in with each other and take the temperature of your relationship on a regular basis.
Having sex, feeling your partner on top of you, the scent of his or her skin brings you back into that loving mind-set. Don’t skip out on it just because you’re tired from work and would rather watch television. Having maintenance sex will remind both of you what you mean to e
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